For the past couple days I’ve been really tired and nauseous and I’m not sure if it is from a herx or if it is from the medicine. That’s the one thing in particular about Lyme treatment that sucks-you never really know what is going on. I might be getting a PICC line put in within the next month. This has been in the back of my mind since being diagnosed and I don’t think I have made as much progress as I should be making on the oral antibiotics so the PICC line (or IV antibiotics) might be the way to go from here. My LLMD is good about letting the patients choose how their treatment goes, which is nice. Every appointment I have had with him up till now we have discussed doing the PICC and he thought it was best to wait and see how the orals work out because the PICC has some risks to it (blood clots and infection). I think it might be time to just bite the bullet and have the PICC put in and see how I react to it. I see my doctor in two weeks so we will decide then. I have done a lot of research and it seems like the PICC line helps with neurological symptoms more than the orals and I have read lots of success stories relating to the PICC line treatment. I am kinda scared (if I do get one) but at the same time I have had lots of time to think about it and do some research about the procedure and it doesn’t seem to be too scary of a process. And anyway if it’s going to make me feel better I can just suck it up and deal with it. I’ve done pretty good with just ‘sucking it up and dealing with it.’ Something about lyme: (and I’m sure anyone who has dealt with it before will agree) is that weird, random symptoms or medicine that would seem scary or nerve racking for normal, healthy people are completely normal for a person with Lyme Disease. Like ‘oh my eyes wont focus right when I move them’ or ‘yeah I’m too dizzy to walk to the bathroom right now’ would seem scary and upsetting to a normal, healthy person (I know a year ago I would totally agree with this because I had never had any problems like this before) but to someone with Lyme Disease it becomes the norm. You slowly start to adjust to life being constant vision problems or the world always spinning around you. At first it’s scary. The first episode of bad vertigo I experienced was awful. I was sitting in a prob and stats for engineers summer class last June and randomly out of nowhere I got very, very dizzy. It was one of the worst things I’ve ever gone through. I had to leave class and I still don’t know how I made it back to my apartment. That was my first indication that something was seriously wrong with me and it just went downhill from there.
What I experience on a daily basis is quite incredible and I know for a fact that anyone reading this right now who doesn’t have lyme and is healthy would probably be very scared if they had to sit inside my body for an hour. This holds true for most everyone with Lyme Disease. We fight a constant, 24/7 battle that is not noticeable to a stranger or someone on social media. I try to be happy and not talk about Lyme in my tweets but if people could see what my life was actually like they would be shocked. It is not pretty, it is not a joke, and it’s not something that I would ever want anyone else to experience. I can’t even shower some days. It really changes the person you are and you definitely learn how to grow a thick skin. I am a lot stronger than I know people probably think of me. No, I’m not whiny and I’m not trying to get sympathy for writing this; I am just simply telling it how it really is. Lyme Disease sufferers are A LOT stronger than the average person because you truly have to be if you want to get better. Treatment is rough. It makes you question whether or not you want to even be alive. It is a very tough battle and I know for sure I will be a better person because of it. I also know for sure that I will ALWAYS take good care of my body because health is so valuable.